Monday, September 26, 2011

The Best Years of Your Life

Whenever somebody tells me that their high school years were the best years of their life, I can't help but feel incredibly sorry for them.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Rice Cakes to the Rescue

Having spare rice cakes on hand has saved my life in numerous instances, the most recent case involved a gerbil, a manic clown, and one of the puppets from Disneyland's "It's a Small World" ride. It was a close call.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Net Neutrality

I'm all for net neutrality. Nets do a lot for us and are very useful (they catch us fish to eat, provide amusing ways to trap villains in cartoons, they can be used as underoos for prostitutes, to name but a few uses of nets), so the least we can do for them is give them some neutrality in return.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Age of Instant Communication

The dangerous paradox of living in this age of instant communication is that the act of communication has become something of a virtue. Apparently, because people have the ability to communicate instantly, they have lost the ability to communicate at all.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Thin Line

There is a very thin line between fighting for what you believe to be right and becoming that which you are fighting against.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Kitties

The other day, this article was posted on The headline reads, "Glow-In-The-Dark Cats Could Provide Answers About AIDS." No, you did not misread that. That is actually what the article is about. Genetically modified cats that glow in the dark and may be resistant to feline AIDS. Here's a picture of the Teenage Mutant Glow-in-the-Dark Kitties:

Animal cruelty issues aside, I can't help but think these guys should have watched "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" before proceeding with these experiments... Granted, I admit that "Rise of the Planet of the Kitties" doesn't really sound as scary as Apes, but I have to say that giant radioactive kittens would probably be quite terrifying in real life, if not on the big screen.

In any event, I definitely think that they have won the WTF of the Year Award. Granted, it is true that there are still three-and-a-half months left in 2011, but I think that prospective contestants for the not-so-coveted award will be rather hard-pressed to top this one.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I have often said that it would not be completely unreasonable to suggest that if J.K. Rowling, Dan Brown, and Dean Koontz were to get together in a time machine and travel back to early 1982 so that they could have a drunken, care-free, night of passion with Douglas Adams, then I might have been the love child of such a coming together of literary minds.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The New Estate

Since Real Estate doesn't seem to be doing very well lately, I've decided that instead I am going to look into investing in Fake Estate. Hopefully that will prove to be a more profitable endeavor.